my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
