your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
