So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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