New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
