He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
