he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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