Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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