i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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