and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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