Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
