well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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