So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
