Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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