Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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