He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
