3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
