just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
