Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
