Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
