Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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