Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
