I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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