he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
