ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
