absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
