"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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