Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
