we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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