I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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