That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
