Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
