Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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