so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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