quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
