you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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