im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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