...so i touched it.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
