i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
