I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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