the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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