so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
