So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh god it's open bar.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize