i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
