you guys were way drunker than both of me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
