...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
