Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
