my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
