I can text with my tongue
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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