Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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