so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
