I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
