Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
