Do vagina's smell?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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