I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize