I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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