I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize