hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
