Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
