I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
