I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
