That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
