there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
