Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
