Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
