hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
