ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
