doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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