Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
