you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
