I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
