no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There are leaves in my underwear?
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