walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
