the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
